There’s a reason they put “short” urinals in the bathrooms these days, and it ain’t simply for the kids.

I’m not super tall by any means (about 6′1), but these short urinals are placed with such precision, that if you drew a straight line from my “family jewels”, you would touch the plumbing above the urinal. This means that it makes it a little awkward for me to use them.

When I walk into the bathroom and see a short guy using the “tall” urinal while the “short” one is perfectly empty, I tend to get a bit perturbed. I’m sure this is how the handicapped (physically challenged??) feel when someone uses their honeymoon suite of a stall to take the Browns to the Super Bowl.

Bottom line short guy? I know you have been vertically challenged most of your life and want to feel tall, but doesn’t using the “tall” urinal have the opposite effect? Doesn’t it just highlight your shortness?

I propose a law that states anyone under 5′9 cannot utilize the tantalizing and more manly “tall” urinal. You’re just annoying the rest of us.

So my Xbox 3-Shi**y (normally 360) just took a dump on me. It had been acting up a bit lately by locking up during games and what-not, but today it locked up on a game (Deadrising) and decided to stop working altogether! Happy Thanksgiving to me!

While the support guys at 1-800-4MY-XBOX were incredibly nice, they really, really pissed me off. I bought my lovely paperweight in July shortly after my birthday and played it a bit, but not a TON. As soon as Saint’s Row came out, I played it a bit more, but haven’t really put it to much use since then. Sure, I’ve played it here and there, but definitely not to the point of breaking it!

So of course my box is out of warranty (ended in September) and I get the opportunity to pay $139 to get it fixed because I didn’t opt for the extended warranty. Wait, do you hear that sound? That’s the sound of me getting screwed, and they aren’t done with me yet. Not only do I get to pay for the opportunity to play my $400 device, I get to wait THREE weeks to a month while they handle it!! Thank you sir, may I have another??!!

So let’s get this straight:

1. I pay around $500 ($400 plus tax) for an Xbox360 Premium or Pro package, not including games.

2. I get to play for around 4 and a half months.

3. I get to pay $139 to play longer or I have a very expensive paper weight.

4. I have to wait a month to get it back.

So according to Microsoft, Play and Pay are only separated by one letter, how bad could that be right?

What puts the icing on the cake for this story ladies and gentlemen is that at 11 AM PST today, Amazon was selling 360 core systems for $100!!! (Click here to see what I’m talking about) So if Lindsey hadn’t bitched at me about buying one, I could’ve had a new one CHEAPER than the cost of sending my broken one back to Microsoft to be repaired (this was before my current 360 was dead like Kevin Federline’s career).

So now I’m really upset and of course I turn to Google to help me justify my anger. Oh. My. God. There are so many people affected by this problem that I can’t even fathom that there hasn’t been a recall on this thing! A simple search for “Xbox 360″ and “red lights” generates over 4 million hits !!!!

Granted, when the 360 first came out, there were a ton of people suffering from what were described as “cooling issues”. The units apparently were very poorly designed and would overheat very easily. Adam from Xbox Support assured me that those issues had been resolved and that mine could only be described as a “General Hardware Failure” and would not be related to the heat problems experienced by so many others.

Folks, this just isn’t an isolated problem. There are Xbox related websites publishing “guides” on the “Red Ring of Death“. One of my favorite and most respected sites, Ars Technica has published a warranty breaking “do it yourself” guide to dealing with the problems. Thousands of people are having these problems. Where is the outrage?

I’ll be voicing my displeasure as many places as I can and getting the word out that this is a bigger problem than they’re letting on. There are serious design and quality issues at work here and they need to be resolved without an additional investment by the consumer.

In the mean time, I’ll be writing a letter to Microsoft’s Xbox Support team at the following address:

Microsoft Corporation
Attn: XBox Support Program
One Microsoft Way
Redmond, WA 98052

To be clear here folks, I understand that bad things happen to electronics. I understand that there may be issues here and there, but to make the consumer pay for your design issues is just plain wrong. Admit you have a problem and fix it, or stop selling the product. To force me to pay for you to fix a problem that shouldn’t have happened in the first place is simply flawed. Shouldn’t a product like this last longer than 5 months?

Update: If you’ve experienced issues with your 360, please sign this online petition to voice your displeasure with Microsoft’s 90-day warranty:

http://www.petitiononline.com/xbox360w/petition.html

digg story

So I still haven’t gotten around to finishing the whole PurchasePro tale, but the plot thickened like cooling Jello pudding last week when a mistrial was declared for Charles “Junior” Johnson. The involved parties are staying quiet thus far, but most “experts” (I use that term lightly) are agreeing that the circumstances under which the mistrial was declared are incredibly unusual. Thing is, the court records and documents are sealed, which leads people to believe that he’s trying to bargain or cut a deal. Being the law expert that I’m not, I’ll leave it to the true journos to tell the tale:

http://www.kentucky.com/mld/kentucky/news/16006750.htm

By the way, not a good sign for Junior if his own fellow Kentuckians (I have no idea if that is even a word) are proclaiming him guilty and thanking the Lord that his father is not around to witness his shenanigans. Read the user comments down towards the bottom of the article…kinda funny.
Here’s another take from CNET:

http://news.com.com/2061-10796_3-6136560.html

I am so over all of this. I sincerely hopes he cuts a deal! Hasn’t this dragged on long enough? Christ! Either lock him up or acquit him, just leave me alone!

Taking a break from watching all of the Peyton Manning commercials to watch some football and it got me thinking. Would anyone trade Phillip Rivers for Eli Manning now? Karma is a bitch, Eli. You bitched and moaned about being drafted by the Chargers, so they took you anyway and traded you to the Giants for Phillip Rivers.

Take a guess who the better quarterback is now?

Who would you rather have?

Eli Manning? Fuck that guy.

Enjoy your crybaby New York.